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December 7th, 2011 by DrinkUp

Just Cause You’re A Celebrity – NOT A REASON

  

How about you don’t try to make your own alcohol line? Today, I rant on the terrible branding of celebrity alcohol.  I just don’t understand the logic in being a celebrity means you can make alcohol.  I go out of my way not to buy the alcohol if it is branded by a celebrity.

Here are a few brands out there and a few still to come…

Hanson’s MMMhop IPA: That’s right, the Hanson brothers are no longer the cute cuddly boy band of the 90s. No, they are all grown up. And to prove it, they are launching their own beer line trying to bank off of their one-time pop culture success.  The only plus I can say is that the teenie boppers that used to listen to them in the 90s are probably of legal drinking age now.

Ludacris’ Conjure Cognac: Wow that is a mouthful.  If you can win a grammy, you can make a cognac right? – Wrong. Ludacris traveled to Bordeaux where he tasted more than 40 different brandies to create his personalized Conjure Cognac.  Doesn’t that make it sound SOOO GOOD?

 

Danny DeVito Limoncello: Now this one, I kinda like.  I must admit to being a huge Always Sunny in Philadelphia fan so anything with Danny DeVito, I am going to enjoy.  In 2010, Danny (we are on a first name basis) told me about this idea and I said HELL YES.  The scratch-n-sniff logo was his idea though.

 

Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka:  For some reason, this makes me think of the new Indiana Jones movie (not one of the original 3).  It sucked.  This vodka on the other hand ain’t too shabby but at the price tag they are asking, it is a bit ridiculous. They claim by using diamonds for filtering, it makes the purest tasting vodka…LOAD OF B.S….

 

Marilyn Manson’s Mansinthe: Anything that contains the word Marilyn Manson and is supposed to be consumed is not in my wheel house.  I am not surprised that this was his choice of spirit though.  Absinthe as we all know is a drink long blamed for making people go crazy.

 

 

P Diddy’s Ciroc Vodka: If you didn’t know it already, Mr. Combs is an equal-share owner of Ciroc Vodka.  This ‘vodka’ is supposed to be an ultra premium and definitely is based on price. I say ‘vodka’ like that because this isn’t even made from grains, potatoes, or sugar but is instead made from grapes.  Fitting that this is a French product.  What do I know though – F the French

 

I feel like I could keep going all day long with these terrible business ideas involving alcohol that celebrities dip their hands into. (As you know if it is touched by a celebrity, it turns to gold). I for one choose to drink like the common folk and drink REAL BOOZE.  I’m not trying to drink an US Weekly.

 

-DrinkUp

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