January 5th, 2012 by Jim

The Girls All Make Passes At Guys With Good Glasses


Sometimes it’s completely fine to drink a cold beer in a plastic cup. In fact, for my money, that’s fine nearly all the time. However there are times when you need to class the joint up a bit, like when you’re having a new lady or man friend over for the first time, and you’re trying to get him or her a little lubricated to get a little you-know-what going on. In that case, having your home bar stocked with the proper glassware is essential. Since this new friend is just getting to know you, you can give the illusion that you’re a classy dude/broad by serving up a proper cocktail in the proper glass. Here is a list to get you started.

Beer Mug/Pint Glass — Keep a few in the freezer at all times. Sure, you could hand her a can of Schlitz, but serving it up in a frosty mug or pint glass ups your chances of getting busy.
  Highball Glass — When I bought my current house, the housewarming gift I bought for myself was a nice set of crystal highball glasses. They are typically straight sided, and 8 – 12 ounces. Great for everything from a Vox Vodka and Tonic to a nice Knob Creek on the rocks.
  Cocktail Glass — Also known as a martini glass, if you have a few of these, you’re a classier person than me. I may need to get a set for holiday party time. They’re the glasses that are triangular with a long stem and round base. Shaken, not stirred.
  Wine Glasses — You need one set of expensive crystal wine glasses to be a real adult. I like big, spicy Reds, like 7 Deadly Zins, and I always pull out the good glassware when I’m drinking the good wine. Also, get some inexpensive stemware for when you’re slugging box wine.
Mason Jar — Moonshine.
  Hurricane Glass — Here’s a tip, as a former bartender: A Hurricane, Mai Tai, Planters Punch, Zombie, and all the other exotic tropical drinks are the same damn thing. There may be official recipes around somewhere, but bartenders don’t care. It’s dark rum and juice. Garnish with an orange. Call it whatever you want.
Snifter — Stemware that is wide at the bottom and narrow at the top, they are mostly associated with drinking brandies and other fine aperitifs. The shape of the glass traps in the aromas of the liquor as it evaporates, giving you a full sensory experience when you’re drinking the good stuff. So stick your nose down in there and act like you know what you’re doing.
Shot Glass — Some people collect them. Get some at the tourist places downtown, like the Charlie Daniels Museum (Is that place still open?) Used for shots. You ever had a Prairie Fire? Take your favorite tequila, mine is Herradura Suprema, pour a shot in a glass and add two drops of Tabasco.  Arriba!
Red Solo Cup — Yeah, me too. No class.


Jim R.

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