July 20th, 2012 by Dipsomaniac

The Golden Bear Makes His First Golden Wine


"I bet she's a goer, mate!"

When I think about golf and drinking, the first thing I think about is…well, me. But after reinforcing the fact that my game is always a little better after consuming a few frosty cans of “swing oil,” the next thing I think about is Greg Norman. The Shark has long been known for producing an outstanding line of wines from his Greg Norman Estates collection. But there’s another connection between Norman and alcohol. Remember back in 1997 when then-president Bill Clinton had to get surgery after tearing ligaments in his knee? Of course you don’t remember, my Fireball-swilling young friends, but it happened.

You see, there used to be this guy named Bill Clinton who was our president back before everybody hated each others political views on Facebook. We all sorta begrudgingly admired him because President Bubba looked like the kind of guy you’d want to party with. It turns out that he also didn’t have any problem getting a little presidential salute from slightly chubby horny interns, so we could kinda relate to that too. Anyhoo, for some reason which I’m sure was connected to a matter of State Department business between the U.S. and Australia, Clinton spent the night at Greg Norman’s pad in Hobe Sound, Florida. Somehow, in the middle of the night with no Secret Service agents to be found, Clinton fell down a whole flight of stairs and busted his ass and torqued his knee. Tell me he wasn’t f’d up on wine… It did mean that for a short time while President Clinton was under the knife, our Nashville neighbor Al Gore was the most powerful man in the free world. He took advantage of that time to invent the internet, so we all have Greg Norman to thanks for the fact that you can read this here today.

Norman also won two British Open Championships, which in Britain is just called “The Open Championship.” The same way that Buffalo wings in Buffalo are just called “wings, asshole.” Well done, Greg, but Jack Nickalus has got you beat in that department with his three Claret Jugs. Now the Golden Bear is trying to horn in on The Shark’s success in the wine biz.

He has already released two Nicklaus reds in partnership with Terlato Wine Group in 2010, a Cabernet Sauvignon and a Private Reserve Bordeaux-style blend. Now the partnership is preparing to sell a 2011 Nicklaus Private Reserve Napa Valley, beginning in select markets before going national next year. The Sauvignon Blanc-based white will sell for around $35 a bottle, but contrary to rumors, will not have dimples on the outside of the bottle to promote smoother aging. Just make sure to keep Obama away from that stuff until after November…


Booze History, Wine

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