I’ve gotten to where I absolutely hate wearing neckties. After years of being forced to put on a noose every morning to sit at a desk where nobody would actually see me to notice how nattily attired I was, I finally escaped the corporate world to a job where my daily dress code is pants-optional. But I’ve recently discovered a product that might could get me tying on the ole Double Winsdor again.
The Flask Tie is described as “a fashion statement of thirst quenching proportions” and could be the solution to your covert day drinking needs. Ostensibly designed for your office “hydration needs,” we all know that it’s really a way to smuggle booze where you’re not supposed to take it and drink on the sly. Each tie combines a TieBladder™ holding approximately 6 fluid ounces with a TieBite™ Valve mouthpiece located at the end of the back slip. This apparatus allows for easy drinking with a simple bite and sip procedure. The valve self-seals after each drink to eliminate annoying drips and embarrassing stains which could get you busted at the conference table.
The Tie Flask retails for $27.95 at the company’s website, and comes in 19 different designs and colors, many of which coincidentally reflect the team colors of most of the members of the SEC. Seriously, this thing is pretty much designed for fraternity usage in the stands at college football games. Especially since the ushers might get a little suspicious if a bunch of us derelicts started wearing blazers and ties to Titans games after years of wearing that same old tattered Tyrone Calico jersey that we blew fifty bucks on after the 2003 draft. What, that was just me?
But if you’re considering a more corporate use for your Flask Tie, I can think of nothing more appropriate than some of the New Orleans Coffee Liqueur from Bittermens. Because drinking coffee at work is totally acceptable, right? Unlike some of those other sickly sweet coffee spirits products, the Bittermens product is designed to actually taste like good coffee, with a bit of bite provided by the addition of organic French chicory root. Sweetened slightly with vanilla, Taza chocolate and Belgian candi-style syrup, New Orleans Coffee Liqueur has a depth of flavor not found in your typical coffee drink. *cough*Starbucks*cough*
As a standalone drink, New Orleans Coffee Liqueur is wonderful as an after dinner digestif in lieu of firing up the Keurig for a guest who isn’t ready to go home yet. It is also great as an ingredient in creative cocktails that need a taste of bitter to augment other sweet flavors. To get you started, here’s a recipe for a real man’s version of a White Russian. Enjoy!
The Dude Abides
2 oz El Dorado 3 year old Rum
3/4 oz Bittermens New Orleans Coffee Liqueur
2.5 oz Cream
Pour each ingredient, in that order, into a rocks glass filled with ice. Give a quick stir. Or, if you want, give it a quick dry shake and pour into a rocks glass filled with ice. Dust with powdered espresso if you have it. Sit back and enjoy. The dude abides.